Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
