The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize