Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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