on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize