You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
