Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I think I sprained my soul last night
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
