do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
