i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
