Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize