The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
