I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I would ride that face into the sunset
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