Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
no you cant smoke seaweed
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
