this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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