You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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