he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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