My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
