If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
