at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
