A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
