i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
jump out the window naked night went bad
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
