Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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