69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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