why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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