I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
