Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
