Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
