Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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