Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
