Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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