i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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