1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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