screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
