That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
