The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
