Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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