Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
40s are totally the cure
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
