you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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