she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
