Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
