I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize