I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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