never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
