Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
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