I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
