I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
