Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You are a genius and a whore.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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