She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
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And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
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After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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