Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
