the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
never play flip cup with pint glasses
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
