I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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