Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
All the doctor said was why
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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