don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
