I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
