Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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