why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
