I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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