He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
