That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
There r osticjed everywhere
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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