I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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