Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize