fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
There are leaves in my underwear?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
