WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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