How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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