I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
