no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
