im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize